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December 30, 2013
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Stressed out

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 30, 2013, 2:18 PM
I just need to write my thoughts down somewhere. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have gotten but it's also a huge amount of anxiety and stress. I know I have a tendency to make things worse when they involve myself. Having your art criticized is really hard for me. I'm glad people are open to telling me what to change. But it leaves me with this feeling of discouragement. I know it's part of being an artist. I don't take anything I have for granted. But think of it this way. I just did a shoot for an agency in Toronto and they didn't like any of the photos pretty much. Including editing, that shoot probably took 25 hours to get everything done. And I definitely don't blame the agency. I have a habit of looking at a photo like it's art. I have to remember that everyone is looking for something different. And right now, in my career, I have to work my way up. They want their models to look natural, glowing and raw. I tend to go overboard and make the overall photograph perfect but then it doesn't look 100% like the model. It's hard to find a balance. And okay, I'm not saying every photographer is like this but alot started for a love of fashion for example. Where as I just love beauty in people. So I always focus on that. Most of this won't make sense, just a little rant haha

  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Hannah Hunt- Vampire Weekend
  • Drinking: Kombucha Tea
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:icongreat-escapade:
Great-Escapade Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I have adored your talent since I came across your beautiful art. Always keep your head up high and just keep trying. 

'We live through our mistakes as they make us the person we are today.' 
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:icon3fukutaicho:
3fukutaicho Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I am not a photographer, but as a design student, I can fully sympathise with your situation. At university, a lot of the projects that we produce are shown and critiqued during workshop sessions every week, and something that I made over a large number of hours may not appeal or effectively communicate to the class or the class tutor and I have to start again. And this is only schoolwork, not even in the real world of the industry. It's incredibly frustrating but I guess we have to accept it as part of the field that we practice in - design, art, photography, and other areas of a creative industries such as writing, are areas of practice that have no right answer. Sometimes we have to forsake our own 'style' for the sake of one project. I've done that more than once, and going out of my comfort zone has taught me a lot. The new things we try can always be adapted till it biomes our own, and different contexts call for different approaches.

Of course, depending on the situation, it's client that's in the wrong. Other times it's the creative who hasn't met the mark. In both situations we need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves. I easily get stressed myself, and worry far too much for it to be healthy, but I think I'm learning to take criticism in its different forms. I hope you won't dwell on this disappointment for long - time passes, and with talent and dedication like yours, many new opportunities will pop up for you. Some of them may be perfect for your style, some may not, but each new situation you jump into can be a fruitful learning experience, not just about photography, but also about the nature of the workforce. Some will love your work from the get go, others might be looking for something beyond that.

Keep going, I've followed your account for a while I really do love what you have produced over all this time. I believe you will go far, so keep looking ahead. :)
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:iconscottdsaunders:
ScottDSaunders Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I can totally understand this. I'm always scared shitless whenever I have a shoot with someone because what if they don't like the shots?
I'm also in the same boat with why I started photography in the first place. I love capturing images that show feeling. People tend to show the most emotion in photography so that is what I like to shoot! When I first stumbled upon you on here, that is what made me follow you, because you shoot art and there is so much love and hard work put into every piece. You will always be my favourite photographer for that reason. 
Just remember you have the rest of your life too, some jobs will come and go, but you will do well, I know. :)
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:iconchrisqvw:
ChrisQVW Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Photographer
Just think of it this way, Clients usually have an image they want to see, and you're the key to making their idea come to life. It's like a flame, you hold the match and striking paper in your hand just waiting on the perfect moment to light a spark :D But honestly I love your work nevertheless :)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I've mostly been a silent admirer of your pieces (and I apologize. I'm just not very good with words where they count). I'd like to say something, though...if I may be so bold.

 

Don't sacrifice for your art, love. I know it's hard! Well, I don't know in terms of photography per se, but success is tantalizing and desirable. However, I feel what you stand for and what you wish to showcase in your photography is a blissful and beautiful message... one that shouldn't be abandoned. There are multiple roads to success, just remember that. Even if it takes more time and patience. I think every place has a need and a time for sacrifice, but I don't think little things like this are worth it. This is just me, though! I don't mean to be demanding or  anything.. just trying to help!

However, perhaps, if you do wish to press forward with more things of this nature (more materially based than soul-based)... perhaps you can find a good balance! Look at these shoots as experiments or money makers... whatever floats your boat. Perhaps ask precisely what the client is looking for/desiring from your shoot. I don't think they'll frown upon you for trying to get some clarity/direction, as this might actually help you better understand where to go. Then set up shoots and such where you can do precisely what you love. Or, if it's really bugging you, maybe these particular genres aren't for you. I'm sure there is some genre out there, where soul is beautiful and desired. I know, personally, I'd like my soul to be captured as best it could. So perhaps, if you can, getting in to more personal sessions/clients would help soothe you? Well,  I'm a bit confused now. I guess it depends if you modeled or shot this particular thing. I'm sorry! I was thinking of you as the photographer, since you were speaking of editing. Either way, I'm sure the same can be said for modeling: find those artists with particular visions. I know I'd always want soul in the portrayal of my vision, at least.

 

But, if worse comes to worse! Keep smiling. Go do something you love, and try to forget about it for a while. Maybe use your camera just for fun for a while, with no other person's expectations but your own in mind. Then, maybe, you can return to the critique and try and see where you can compromise. Personally, I find it easier to take critique if you look at it as someone trying to help you to grow! :heart: but, be aware. Not everyone is trying to do this.. but I think you can use your best judgment.

I'm sorry you're stressed out, and I'm sorry I can't really be of help. My advice? Take some time for yourself. Relax. Rejuvenate. Then try again with an open mind and a passionate heart. Maybe ask some extra questions, too, if you feel it would help.

 

Best wishes, and good luck! I have faith that you'll give your best. You'll be fantastic, never fear! It's just all about getting past uncertainty. :huggle::heart:

 

Love,

Kelsi

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:icondallasharder:
DallasHarder Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013   Photographer
Thank you very much! It's nice to hear your words! :) I do just have to find a place where I can please myself, but create beautiful images for certain people.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer

You're most welcome! I'm happy if I could help... if only a bit.

I wish you the best of luck! Well, it's a new year, too... so who knows what's in store! I sincerely hope everything works out! :rose:

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:icongonefromda:
GonefromDa Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Mmmm well, I can't say I've experienced this personally. I've never tried to show studios my work even my regular photography that's not nude but what I can say is that your work is simply amazing. You are seventeen years old! I mean I'm eighteen and my work isn't nearly as amazing and well thought out as your photographs.
Don't let this be a downer towards you, you have your own style and how you perceive things. Don't change that just because the first person turned you down. Things don't come easy. Your going to have people turn you down that's how life rolls. But I promise you that things will look up, an agency is going to want you. Just keep searching.
Hold your head up high.
Keep rocking Da's world.
:tighthug:
:heart:
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:icondallasharder:
DallasHarder Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013   Photographer
Thank you <33
Yeah I just need to find a balance in my art. For myself, I can create art and for agencies I can make the models as beautiful as possilbe
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:icongonefromda:
GonefromDa Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah! That's the perfect way to think of it as.
Your artwork is magnificent!
:heart:
:bow:
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